when at the end of what you call studies
you throw together something like a dissertation
from fragments downloaded from the net
you get a degree from a college
of something and something
write a CV and attach an impressive
list of books you haven’t read
they accept you you’re ideal
for a department of logistics sales purchasing
in the meantime politicians historians journalists –
you haven’t even noticed there’s no difference between
them
because nothing interests you as much
as a new app for your smartphone –
have a dispute over whether an uprising doomed to fail
in the middle of a populous city was useful
willy-nilly the chips reach
your always busy ears
burst the eardrums rolling during evening parades
somewhere deep inside the sirens howl seductively
for some time you live normally
that is the same as others
you start a family take a loan
despite the numerous disadvantages of the solution
you build a house on a housing estate out of town
if you get promoted to the department manager
you can afford to be stuck in traffic in a new SUV
but you can’t afford to lose your wretched job
two installments separate you from homelessness
so when the moment comes
when you have to do it
you make the sign of the cross
even though you stopped going to church a long ago
maybe God will help if not fuck it
with a cry of holyyy shiiit!!!
you die but not wholly
you leave a monument behind
or at least a commemorative plaque
blessed by a priest who loves boys
just like you
